Divorce…and how people percieve it!

There are many stigmas in Indian society and divorce is one of them. We see it as the flaw in personality if one is divorced, without ever knowing the cause or why the two parties came to such a juncture.I am sure it is not easy to say ‘quits’ when not only the two individuals but the entire jingbang of the two families are also involved in getting the couple married and then divorced.

There may have been varied causes for taking such an extreme decision or maybe the decision was taken by one of them and was simply forced upon the other spouse. For instance, what can one spouse do when the other is not interested in the relation any more or has already started another because he is bored of the relation or maybe inclined to go for another one naturally. Or it could be that the spouse in question is not able take on the responsibilities of a family life. Getting married and enjoying the lovey-dovey life for a while is simple. But taking responsibilities of an entire family and household isn’t easy. It doesn’t come naturally for some. So, when the they can’t shoulder responsibilities they find it easier to start the blame-game and eventually say ‘quits’!

Then we have the free spirited person who loves to wander. This individual shierks from being tied down in a household. They succumb to the societal pressures, get married, stay there for a while and move-on without blaming anyone but scaring the life of the other spouse nonetheless. These are some of the problems encountered by the divorced individuals.

What about the external factors that are viable to break a marriage? The infamous mother-in-laws, jobs, separation, long distance marriage, etc…the list is endless. These days the girls’ indulgent and over caring parents are also becoming a major cause of disharmony and disintegration of a marriage.

Mind you, this list does not include the ego clashes of both the spouses. This category is different altogether and the main reason for breaking of marriages in the present scenario. I would consider it as an internal factor wherein the couple is accountable for the divorce.

Then why does one have to take the brunt of a divorce which was caused by others, stay with the guilt of being in an unsuccessful marriage, give explanations for the divorce to the world at large…

The other way to deal with the divorce is to make the other party look like ‘cruel monsters’ and gain sympathy. It is damn simple – since the audience gets to hear just one side of the story so weave a story in which the other spouse and their family are responsible for harassment and physical abuse. You end up looking like a victim and people feel sorry for you. Yet in your heart of hearts you are aware that the other spouse was a nice human being. It was just the inability to carry on with the burden of a wedding…!

The joint families are also breaking down but that isn’t a stigma… But why not? Afterall that is also the separation of family members…the way it happens after a divorce! The members who were together as one family fragment out due to differences…just the way in divorce!

Do the members of a disintegrated family need to fill a form every now and then to declare ‘joint’ or ‘nuclear’ family? Nah…but a divorced individual is constantly reminded of the pain and agony and the divorce-wala-label each time they fill a form: Marital status: Married/ unmarried/ divorced!!

…even when they were not the reason for the divorce!

Think about it…